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The other week I met up with someone I worked with closely a few years ago and it was good to see him again. Apart from us both being slightly older I suspect neither of us had changed that much but he did touch on something interesting when he said that he had learned that in a life, nothing good or bad lasts forever. I suppose that both my brother and I having been bought up at my Mother’s knee with her reading us Kipling’s “If…”, it would be a view I would naturally agree with:

“If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;”

But it set me thinking about the very nature of our “expectations”.

Triumph and Disaster…

On the surface we would prefer the former and shun the latter and yet would we be right ?

“Triumph” sounds both good and desirable, ‘honourable’ even whereas “Disaster” sounds like defeat, loss, a veritable shipwreck so we don’t want that for sure and yet… These very words speak more of our ‘expectations’ than they do of the hard facts and over time, a triumph may well prove to be a disaster in disguise and a disaster, a complete ‘blessing’ in comparison.

To illustrate the point let us look at recent UK events and the property market. In January of 2007 a young couple may well having scrimped, scraped and borrowed money from family just to get on the ‘property ladder’. In January 2009 when their 2 year fixed interest deal expires and the value of the property has fallen by 20% so that their “Dream Starter Home” is now a negative equity prison for the next 4-5 years, their initial triumph has indeed turned into a disaster.

But Even So…

The key seems to lie within our expectations of things and yet, it is those very things that carry within them both the “pleasure and pain” of actual events: “It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be or, It wasn’t as good as I thought it would be…”

But there is a problem because we have become disassociated from a degree of reality and the “variable” nature of the Universe as expressed in some years producing “Vintages” and from the same vineyards just “Average” in others. To be fair, even the French winegrowers have fallen in with this so that cheap to middle priced wines are now totally blended to a ‘taste’ rather than authenticity for which latter you will pay a lot more and suffer the variations in your Première Cru year on year.

A Silly Story

Some years ago because of my then immediate background of being a West End Doorman, I had an amusing couple of weeks being part of the security team at a couple of London venues for a Rock Band doing live concerts. Although they were a band I had always had respect for, it was because of this experience that I became a bit of a fan because they were good, pretty good people and actually tried to do most things ‘live’ avoiding too much ‘canned stuff’.

Talking to one of the band during a venue change and new sound checks, he gave me another perspective which went roughly along the following lines:

“When we started out we did pubs and small clubs to get an ‘audience’, once you make it, you do live concerts and, live tours. About 90% of the audience are fans, you are singing to the ‘converted’ and truly, they don’t want the ‘studio sound’. They want all the guitar riffs, drum beats and all the ‘hooks’ associated with each track left in but mainly, they want to sing the chorus and join in with you and be part of the experience, they ‘aint going to ask for their money back because it didn’t sound like the studio track.”

It was a great insight which with some modifications, I was called upon to ‘explain’ to a couple of idiots who wanted a refund on their concert tickets – afterwards of course and some days later.

We Cannot Expect to be Protected from Reality…

But in a sense perhaps unconsciously, that is what we have become, people who can only exist inside a “standardised bubble of total conformity” and that is sad.

Whilst I was a West End Doorman, I did train others to do the job, often they moved on to ‘better things’ which means more money for the same thing. One of them who was a charming rouge but a rouge none the less, told me an amusing New Year’s Eve story from the well known club he was doing the door on.

Quite improperly, he was ‘selling’ additional entries on the night for a ‘ticket only event’ – very naughty. At one moment in the early hours, a chap he had thus sold a ticket to, came up to him and complained wanting his money back. The reply was simple: “I told you I would get you in, I didn’t tell you that you would enjoy it, did I ?” I do not suspect he left with a refund.

Conclusion on Expectations

If we blindly buy into things that we know nothing about but in the ‘expectation that it will be good’, who is the fool, the buyer or the seller ?

If we purchase something ‘standard’ like a bottle of wine or a carton of milk, aren’t we just saying that whatever it is, really doesn’t matter a fart, there will be ‘fresh one’ along shortly like the No.39 bus. Why don’t we forget about expectations and just buy into what we fancy and be prepared to use our native common-sense along the way to determine whether we are getting value by whatever yardstick you use.

End Piece:

As the Vicar posed the “Do you Jason take this woman…” To the astonishment of the congregation, Jason upended his wife to be, peeled back her knickers to ensure that she carried the appropriate Kite Mark, Kennel Club Pedigree stamp and appropriate inoculations against hard pad and distemper. He shouldn’t have worried but unfortunately this one action was later to lead to unforeseen events later in the day.

The culprit was the “Packed by 15” stick on label he found at the same time, it confused him. She had a Mother, Father, two sisters and a younger brother so who was the No.15 who had stuck an oval stick label on her bum that very morning ?

The questions and doubt tormented him all through the day until totally out of his control, it welled up in a torrent at Departure Gate 17 at Gatwick Airport as they were to board the flight for their Honeymoon…