baldysblog.co.uk

Michael Lea, who has resigned as Daily Mail political correspondent to take on a new role as chief writer to Prime Minister Gordon Brown. We must grant Michael Lea some leeway over this, we have all made similar mistakes, I did too I married mine. Perhaps he was driven by a failed and nostalgic view that he never saw active service, “Men abed in England will feel their manhood…” well enough of that sort of thing – will make you blind.

Perhaps the lust for a front line job complete with flying Nokias, staplers and the odd laser printer… a total mid life crisis in the making and the doing. Whilst Gordon is a “challenge” for a gifted writer, I think he is totally unworkable, writing for a Chimp would be easier.

Silly Story

When I was a kid we had in our class a lad who wore these awful built up boots and leg braces, he was our “Gimp” and whilst subject to having the hiss taken out of him unmercifully by us he was also protected by us, he was “Our Gimp” and we would kick the “proverbial” out of any other class or school that gave him any grief. It wasn’t kind, it wasn’t intellectual it was just boys stuff and totally instinctive and never discussed.

Sadly he got ill and died when he was 9. I often wonder how it would all have played out over the years and through adolescence, I like to think and believe it true, most of us would still have ‘been there’ for him however, the story:

The Christmas Play

One Christmas a well meaning teacher created a special role for him in the Christmas Play and warned us “Just William types” to behave on pain of…can’t remember, a sloppy wet kiss would have done it !

Well we did but halfway through we could see that the Gimp was very unhappy and we knew that he felt like he was a freak on stage. Each of us was sitting with our respective parents but did the eye contact stuff between us and although we all got a clip around the ear for it and lots of tutt tutting from other parents, a few “Gimpy” shouts sorted him out.

Post Play, Post Clipped Ears…

Afterwards over a five pack of shared Woodbines he told us how unhappy he had been and how knowing we were there made it all right. The point of the story is that we all need to belong to a group and whatever, be accepted for what and who we are, whatever that is, none of us want to be “on stage”.

Gordon Brown’s problem is that he doesn’t have mates who will shout out “Gimp” at the appropriate moment and that is sad, he just doesn’t ‘belong’, he is Miss No Mates, he just hasn’t got anybody looking out for him. I think that Michael Lea has most likely, made a big mistake however, his visual recognition of which model of flying Nokia it is, will improve although I must admit, I don’t see this as a particularly “transferable skill”.